Timing is Everything

A few months back, I wrote about beginning my search for my Birth family. I am happy to write today that I have indeed found my Birth family and it can only be described as God's perfect timing.

It has been an amazing few months and I am still walking on cloud 9! The uncovering of my "story" has been life changing..truly, and I am so incredibly blessed to know all of the pieces to my puzzle.

My adoption is one of love and of heartache, but beautiful all the same..my life happened just as it should have, there's no looking back to say what if..we just move forward...my Birth mother made the only decision she could at that moment..her back was against the wall and I give her the utmost credit and respect for it. She was deeply in love with my Birth father, but we'll just say he had a lapse in good judgement, and with her heart broken, she had to give me up so that I could have the life she didn't think she could provide at the time. Three years after my birth, my Birth parents married and remained so until his untimely death in 1976 of cancer.

I am grateful for her decision. I had two parents that loved and cared for me and gave me a great life. I wouldn't change that for anything.

When you are adopted and you have no real information, you imagine scenarios of how things were in your "story".  When I started my search, I was looking for her in NY (that's where she was born and I assumed still had family there) because I figured that she returned there after she was sent away to Florida to have me in secret (as most unwed mothers were in the 60's), but that wasn't how it went at all...she graduated high school in Fort Lauderdale and worked as a billing clerk after graduation. She met and fell in love with my Birth father and they moved in together..they were making a life together..it was real..and that makes me so happy and complete. I was recently given a picture of the two of them and in that picture, she is pregnant with me..it is the most special picture I could ever receive and I will treasure it always.

I have met my Birth mother, Anne, and she is wonderful..the first time we hugged it was like an electric current went through my body..it was incredible. We have a lot of the same characteristics and "quirks"..our thoughts on life are the same..it's just amazing..I also through this journey gained 3 half siblings..they are my Birth father's children from his first marriage. I have met my youngest half sister Karen, and she is the kindest person I've ever met, and also my half brother Keith..who is just as wonderful..both have shared heartwarming  stories of the father we share in common. I'm hoping to meet my oldest half sister, Kim, very soon. I have also gained 5 Aunts, 2 Uncles and many cousins as well as nieces and nephews. My Birth mother also has a husband of 25 years, Don, that is very sweet and very supportive of our reunion and my heart is big enough for not only my family that I have already, but all of this new family and I welcome each and every one of them into my life.

There are days when I wish I found her sooner, but for some reason, 2014 was God's perfect timing for me to finally know where I came from.

If you are an adoptee and searching or thinking of searching...never give up..no matter how little information you think you have..miracles do happen..God is listening...God is good...

Missing Pieces

I've written about Adoption in previous posts, but today I want to write about my personal journey of Adoption.

Recently, I found a Facebook page for Birthmothers' and thought it might be a good starting point for me in my search..what I found was a bunch of women who are mean, bitter and hateful against adoption and basically feel that adoption is child trafficking and they feel like they should have never been encouraged to give up their child. I was completely astonished by the posts that I read as I was a potential adoptive parent myself.

As an Adoptee, I am not bitter over the fact that I was given up..I think it takes a great act of courage and strength to give your child up for a life that perhaps would be better than the Birthmother could provide and I commend her for doing so. One of the questions asked on this page was "Do you think you would have had a better life if you were raised by your BirthMother"..how do you answer that?? How does anyone know? What I do know is that I had a great life..and wouldn't change that for anything.

When you are an adopted child, there is always a missing piece..a hole if you will, and no matter how much you were loved by your adoptive parents..the hole remains. I sit here 48 years later and I am finally ready to take the steps to fill that void. I am doing this not to hurt my parents or to replace them but to fill in the blanks..my medical history, my ethnicity, etc. One day I would like to look in the mirror and really know who I am..where I came from...Every single adopted person in this world deserves to know these answers....Wish me luck!

Respect

What happened to Respect?  It seriously seems to have disappeared these days and I encountered quite a bit of it over the last few days..

You may think to yourself that I have no right whatsoever to criticize others and their parenting skills, but I seriously think people need a wake up call...there are ALOT of children out there that need to be taught manners and most of all respect.

Just yesterday, I was told by a 9 year old that I know, that I am stupid, weird and he feels sorry for anyone that has to be around me..and his Mother just laughed...seriously?? What in the world are you teaching this kid?? My parents would have NEVER allowed me to speak to any adult in this manner and if I did I would have surely been punished. I honestly don't care to ever be around this kid again..he is a brat through and through..there's no excuse people..these kids are our future and this is how you are raising them..to be rude, inconsiderate and entitled??

The sad thing is, this isn't the only kid that I have encountered with this behaviour and when it does happen..it seriously makes me happy that I don't have kids..I would never want to be that parent that gets talked about for having such obnoxious children and let's face it..you are being talked about and no one wants to be around your kids!

So parents....do the right thing...raise your kids to be respectful, sweet children. You may be busy juggling work, running the house and raising the kids but, at the end of the day, no one wants to be raising THAT kid.

"Anniversaries"

12 years ago today, we lost the most precious gift we were ever blessed to receive..our sweet baby boy.

Though he never took a breath, he touched our lives forever.

Anniversaries are typically good remembrances, but for those of us that have been touched by loss, well, it's not exactly fun to look back, but it is necessary to look back...I never want to forget him..no matter how painful the memory.

I will love you forever William George..until we meet again....God Speed Little Man...

Miracles

Let me first say that, yes, I do believe in miracles..I've heard stories of wonderful things happening to people that can only be described as a miracle...with that being said..I personally have not had this happen..

Someone once said to me, just pray..your baby will come...and as much as I know this person means well...I want to say to her..really??? Do you not think that I prayed every second of every day for a baby to come to us??

Just yesterday on the anniversary of my Dad's death, someone sent me a video of a couple that tried for years for a baby and they eventually came to terms that they would not have a baby and moved on. Out of the blue, a Birth Mother contacted them and asked if they wanted to adopt her twin girls (apparently the adoptive mother journaled about having twin girls several years prior to this) and they became parents through what could only be described as a miracle from God....and that maybe I should try this and a baby or two would come.

I have tried everything under the sun..I've written in a journal, I named the baby, I've prayed to God, Jesus, Mary, St. Girard, St. Jude, all of the Angels...I honestly don't know who else I could pray to...I've said positive affirmations out loud..I've followed the book "The Secret", I've meditated, I created vision boards...trust me people..I covered it all...and still no miracle.

I am trying to live my life and not be consumed that a baby is out there for us..we are not actively pursuing it..if it happens, it happens, if not, then we are no worse off than when we started. But would I like to be one of those people who get their miracle...yes...yes I would!