What Dreams May Come

I find myself sometimes dreaming of the baby boy I lost...had we not lost him, he would have turned 11 this year. What would he look like...would he have my husband's dark hair, Italian/Serbian complexion or his dreamy chocolate eyes? Or would he have some of my features...green eyes, lighter hair, lighter skin..freckles maybe? We will never know the answer to these questions, but that's what dreams are for.

I envision him looking a lot like my husband and having my green eyes...he's a sweet boy, never talks back...I know, I know, but it's my dream..he's an honor student, plays golf really well like his Dad and is well liked among his peers. He doesn't roll his eyes when I try to snuggle with him or push me away when I try to kiss his sweet face...he's a good boy all around and we are so proud of him.

In reality, he may have been a handful if he were anything like I hear my husband was ( I don't think I was a handful but maybe my Mom might have a different opinion on that). At the time of my pregnancy, we were thinking of the name William and calling him Will..my husband didn't want him named after him, after all, he is George, my Dad was a George and my Father in Law was a George...too many in just one small family..I'm sure his name would have not stayed Will...but that is what he will be forever known as to us.

A piece of that sweet baby boy will always be with me..I can still see him on the Ultra Sound moving around, doing flips and then a sweet hand came up and gave us a wave...