Someone said to me recently “You don’t understand, you don’t have a family, it’s just you and your husband”…ouch!! That stings a bit and when someone is stupid enough to say things like this, I really would like to hurt them. …if you look up the definition of a family in the dictionary it states “a family is a group of individuals living under one roof”.
It doesn’t make us any less of a family because there aren’t children in our home. We’ve heard statements from others like “Christmas is only for children, you must feel so lonely”. The assumption is that a family has to have or needs children, or that a couple without children is a childless couple rather than a family. This could not be further from the truth…if you knew us, you would know what big kids we are when it comes to the holidays, we “Griswold” up our house as if we did have kids and honestly, we never feel lonely..we have plenty of little ones in our lives that give us joy and it seems the older I get, the happier I am that I can send them back to their parents and have my peaceful life back.
I’m learning throughout this acceptance process, that you can still live a very fulfilled life without having children. Being married without kids allows you to really get to know yourself and your spouse on a more intimate level. Your time and attention aren’t divided, allowing you to devote yourself more fully to your spouse and to the things you enjoy together. That’s always a plus!
We did not choose this childless life, it is what’s been handed to us, but we are making the best of it and neither my husband or myself feel less of a person because it didn’t happen…our life is just as important as those with children.
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